I don't want to be a brick in a wall. All bricks look the same and they are cemented into place, kept in rigid order. And walls divide. And life is like banging your head...

Face Value/Dark side of the moon

I have never punched anyone. I've never had a real fight. If I see a fight my adrenaline almost paralyses me.

I have dark thoughts though.

Today I was thinking about lists. Top ten's, or three's, or one hundred's. Things I'd like to see:

  1. A plane crash
  2. My insides
  3. Someone die
Number One is a recurring dream. I have had it a lot. Very often I am the person with the video footage. You can hear my voice in the background, drawing the attention of my friends. I think we are gathered for a photo. I am focussing. Say cheese. And in the background I see it happen. And it's cool, exciting.

The news today was about a possible face transplant. Planting a face on to someone else. Very challenging, both technically for the surgeons and philosophically for everyone else,

The surgeon justified the procedure by recounting tales of faceless people. He told of loneliness. People going out under scarves, once a week for groceries. Not answering the door to postmen. Existing not living.

Can I be a donor, or do you have to be dead? Is a face like a heart or a kidney?

I'd like to exist. Living is hard. I'd like to shut myself up and not answer the door. Tonight I would.

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