I don't want to be a brick in a wall. All bricks look the same and they are cemented into place, kept in rigid order. And walls divide. And life is like banging your head...

Illness and Opportunity

If we had been born 200 years ago Isaac and I would probably be dead by now. Not that you would have cared because you wouldn't be born for another 200 years.

Plague has entered our house. 200 years ago and Isaac's high temperature and serious ear infection would probably have got the better of him. Ibuprofen, paracetamol and penicillin now deal with it for him. As for me, I've got a chesty cough that has developed rapidly into man-flu. I'm sure that man-flu would have been a killer as well back then.

But my glass is always half full, and illness has provided me with opportunities.

Firstly, it has given me the opportunity to get 2 nights proper sleep without my stupid, immature pride feeling threatened.

Somewhere inside me I am repulsed by early nights. They are a sign of weakness. The religious and the spineless go to bed early. So do armies. I bet ants and bees do as well. Early nights are for drones. Early mornings are the same. We call those people who get up early, larks and they are to be approached with caution. They are the people who offer to drive on Saturday nights. They never forget to put the bins out. They look after there skin before bedtime. They drink water, eat vegetables and vitamin supplements. They like fresh air. They get up early not because they have to and not with the aid of an alarm. They get up early because they want to. The very thought makes me want to reach for a beer and stay up till dawn so that I can pass them on the stairs and say goodnight.

My wife is a lark.

I am an owl. I sit up all night for no reason. I decide to reinstall operating systems at midnight. I get drunk in company and carry on drinking when everyone has left. I sleep in late. I fall into bed, if I manage to get off the sofa at all, with my clothes on. My sense of self worth is measured against these hedonistic traits. Cleanliness is conformity. Sobriety is social. Health is homogeneity. I don't want to conform to a homogeneous society that makes everyone equal and all high streets the same. I drink. I stay up. I Lie in. I am untidy and disorganised. I am an individual.

I am also ill, so this weekend I am drinking water, eating fruit and getting an early night. But remember, I'm doing this because I'm ill not because I'm weak.

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