'Tis the Season to be...Tra La La La La

'Tis the Season to be...

1. questioning whether commercialism has finally destroyed Christmas.
2. running up credit card bills.
3. weighing yourself, shrugging your shoulders and saying, "Oh well, it's Christmas."
4. drinking every day without anyone suggesting you might have a problem.
5. two-faced: about liking presents you hate, enjoying charades when you don't and wanting to see Great Aunt whats-her-face, when you don't.
6. surrounded by family to the point of suffocation
7. lying to your own children about the existence of "Annual Gift Man", but setting them straight on the fictitious nature of Christ.
8. pretending to like vegetables that you would never eat or even buy on any other day of the year.
9. seeking solitude.
10. smiling falsely at parties that begin at lunchtime and end mid-afternoon.
11. contributing to global warming in so many ways - but heh, it's Christmas.
12. stating the case for The Pogues and Kirsty Mcoll being the greatest ever Christmas song as if there is an argument to be made. After all, the competition includes countless identical tracks by Cliff Richard, a Wham ballad and some Slade that has been ruined during the run-up to Christmas by being played in every single shop you have visited.
13. missing the people who aren't here and wishing the one's who are would go away.
14. looking at the piles of wrapping paper and packaging thrown out on boxing day and thinking, "what was the point?"
15. watching TV and thinking is all that's on, even though we have access to 50 channels.
16. carrying on eating, even though you are so full you can't move and it hurts.
17. making reolutions that will never resolve anything.
18. bragging about what a greedy bastard you are.
19. promising not to blog on Christmas day